Top Ten MLP Analysts
by webhead112233
Summary: Doesn't the title say it all?


Hello one and all. Now, in case my whole 'Rise up! Right Rift fics! Make The Rift it's own category!' speech at the end of my Rift fanfiction didn't make it clear, I'm particularly fond of the MLP analysts.  
>And good god, how could I not be? The analysts are about forty percent of the reason I joined the fandom. And now, I'm going to plagiarize Finn the pony's first videos by making my own top ten of the MLP analysts.<br>A couple of ground rules. These are strictly my opinion, if your favorite analyst doesn't end up on this list, please don't start flaming. Second, I'm going to be treating the Fiery Joker and Fire Brand as two different analysts. I know there same guy, but their videos are formatting are almost polar opposites, they serve different purposes, and for god's sake, there even on two different channels! Lastly, my list will only be applying to actual analysts. That means that Obabscribbler, Goomba Brony, the Lost Narrator, and others like them do not qualify. It isn't that I don't like them, it's just that I'm trying to keep this list down to the analysts only.  
>With "Da Rules" out of the way, let's begin.<p>

Number 10: ANY

German! German! Accept the Germaneness! Things will get much more entertaining that way. Once you learn to decipher what ANY is saying, you almost instantly start laughing. He's one of the only analysts I've seen that has directly addressed things like clopping and gay shipping without playing them up for comedy. Not to mention the fact that he isn't just an MLP analyst, he's does blogs on the Legend of Korra and Gravity Falls. Plus he's part of the reason the Rift formed in the first place. Speaking of which…

Number 9: Voice of Reason

The Rift Master himself! One of the only analysts who has reviewed earlier generations of MLP not for comedy, but for the sake of a good review. Between all he does to be 'a voice of reason', and all his counter efforts as Horror Score, I'm pretty sure that everyone can find something to enjoy. The same cannot be said for the next on the list.

Number 8: Texeirax

Never heard of him? Well, imagine if Drowning in Horseshoes sobered up, admitted he liked MLP, continued to hate Bronies, and got even angrier. That's basically Tex. Aside from fueling the wrath of others with his bashing of Three's a Crowd, Bats, and so on, he also crafted the Sombre concept, the Derpy concept, and came up with a fairly well balanced explanation on how Discord could be Starswirl the bearded; one so well thought out that, even after two videos from KP, I still subscribe to the Discord=Starswirl theory. Some may find Tex's language and hate offensive, but I find it hilarious; and if I spelled his name wrong, I sincerely apologies.

Number 7: Nicky V

Make way for the sports pony! After scene defenders there's no way I couldn't put him on the list. What can I say about Nick? He's a simple analysts of simple reviews. Who also puts out a head-cannon from time to time. And tests the butterfly effect on the MLP universe. And admitted that, in at least a few areas, others show (Gravity Falls for example) are in fact better than MLP. And he's the only analysts who was willing to tell the 'save the tree' people to go eat gravel. And he put my fears about the Hub turning into Discovery Family to rest and even made me hopeful for the future. Did I say Nick was simple? Nicky V rocks house!

Number 6: Canned Cream

From sports to science! I have yet to find anyone who has put together more head-canons, MLP or otherwise, than CC. From the magic of Equestria, to the inner workings of its monsters, from the theoretical war between the Solar Empire and the Lunar, to admitting the flaws of MLP, to psychoanalyzing the mane six, to the secondary main six, to… to… good god this guy has a lot of head-canon.

Number 5: Anthony C

Anthony C is best troll face. If you disagree, then I hope you enjoy being wrong. If you haven't seen his reviewing is magic videos, then go watch them. Right now. I'm serious, stop reading this list, go to YouTube, find Anthony C, or Cosmologic as he's calling himself now, and laugh your ass off. But whatever you do, don't watch his review of Too Many Pinkie's and his review of a Canterlot Wedding one after the other. The human body is not built to handle that kind of comedy.

Number 4: Golden Fox

I think this one merits some explanation. On the whole, Golden Fox is a fairly average reviewer. He talks about the highs and lows of an episode, gives his perfective, and works in some comedy to keep the viewer entertained. He isn't as funny as Anthony C, not as angry as Tex, as good at head-canon as CC, or as diverse as Nicky V. There are two reasons that he is as high on the list as he is. The first is his review of Twilight's Kingdom, if I had a top ten analyst videos to watch (which at some point, I probably will) that would be in the top two. For the second, we need to go back a while. I was… reluctant entering the fandom. For reasons I'm sure I don't need to explain, I was reluctant to take part in the fun that is MLP. I was on my way out the door, never to return. And then I went to YouTube. Maybe it was chance, maybe it was a power beyond my wisdom, but somehow, without looking for it, I found an MLP video. Golden Fox's review of Bats to be specific. I watched, was entertained, and watched another one. Then another. Then another. Then I saw that he'd done a review on an episode I hadn't seen yet, as I'd given up on the show. Well, that would never do, so I went to to see the episode called Pinkie Pride, and the rest, as they say, is history. If it hadn't been for Golden Fox, I wouldn't be a part of this fandom.

Number 3: Fiery Joker

Ever heard of 2 the Ranting Gryphon? If you have, Josh Scorcher is the MLP equivalent. He's overwhelmingly entertaining, surprisingly fair in his grading, a well-seasoned soldier, an advanced swearer, and equip with the hilariously power of thermo-nuking his surroundings at the end of his videos.

Number 2: Dr. Wolf

Does this one surprise anyone? Really? Dr. Wolf has to be one of the most inspirational, honest, well balanced, cultured, and calm analysts in existence. He delves into the psychosis of the mane six, studies the morals of the show, comes up with future episode ideas, creates a head-canon from time to time, reviews fanfiction, reads fanfiction, and even stalls the insanity of his fellow analysts by acting as the Rift's soul therapist. Plus he has the voice of a born narrator.

Before I unveil the top pick, I feel the need to give a few honorable mentions. Fire Brand: Who constantly takes things to seriously and does so in a most entertaining way. Ink Rose: Who's constant theory fics help many people survive the waste land of the off season. KP: Who's 'Let's go Meet John De Lancy video had me rolling with laughter. Mage: Who's 180 turn from innocent and cute to pure nightmare fuel haunts us all. Camgoespony: Who's constant explanation of things are good is nice change of pace from all the rage. Eliorya: Who's anger and passive aggrieveness makes me laugh. And finally, Silverquil: Possibly the most cinematic analyst.

And now…

Number 1: Mr. Enter

I respect this guy both as an analyst and as a person. Mr. Enter is more than an MLP analysts. Between his Animated Atrocities and Admirable Animations, he's practically a full on animation critic. His videos have both made me give up on humanity, and praise its existence. His hate is justified. His admiration is well deserved. Its because of him that I found the Gregory Horror Show. It's because of him that I found God, The Devil, and Bod. It's because of him that I started watching Steven Universe. I'm actually watching his most recent Admirable Animation as I type this. I've learned so much from the fandom, but I've learned so much from Mr. Enter.  
>I give my thanks to all the analysts in the Rift, not just the ones I've mentioned here. Please let me know who your favorite analysts are.<p>

Oh, and before I go, I'm planning a sort of Rift award show fic. For it I'm going to need you all to vote. Most comedic, best head-canon, best rant, etc.


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